// ‘Reach Out’ //

We’re not alone in this world hearing bad news and losing our family and friends, most people live with grief. Sometimes when people grieve they believe they’re the only ones. This is not bad though, grief is a personal thing, it affects everyone differently and we deal with it in our own ways.

It’s very difficult to talk to our family and friends and find out how they feel about lost one’s. I know in my case as I miss my Mum so much it’s hard to talk about her to my Dad and Sister. Also it’s sad to say that I find it hard to talk to George about her.

They say men should never cry etc but I think most of us are mummys boys, it’s who brought us up. I know not in every case though, but I think we all miss our Mum’s when they’ve left, both men and women. Obviously some other people lost their Mum’s when they were born, young or when they walked away from them. This means that others miss the people who brought them up in the world, father’s,  grandparents, aunts, uncles, the list goes on. We miss the people who brought us up in this world so much.

Men find it hard to talk about personal things, just ask a woman. I now find it much easier to open up, I’ve learnt that it does you no good to keep it bottled up. This is partly why I write this blog. We should speak to the people we care for more often, but talking about loss is very difficult. In a way it’s easier not to, quite often we laugh and joke about our lost one’s, enjoying the good times, but very rarely do we have serious chats about it.

It’s always hard to talk about grief but we all grieve in some way, try and talk to your friends and family about it. It would be an emotional chat but with a bottle of wine or beer, snacks and a cosy environment it would help. Obviously its something best to do in private. You’ll find out how they grieve, how they deal with it and how they remember their loved ones and friends. This will make you know that you’re not on your own. Everyone in the world can find someone to talk to, even if it’s over the phone to a stranger, getting the thoughts out of your head is important, even just verbalising your thoughts is important.

I’m writing this blog because one late evening we were watching a programme on Channel 4. It was about a day in an accident and emergency ward located in London. Even though nobody left the world, you could see how people were affected by their family being rushed to hospital.

A 7 year old boy had fallen out of a tree and was lying on a bed with his body and head strapped up, due to this his Dad was talking about some tragic events in his life. Luckily the boy wasn’t hurt but his Mum and Dad were scared waiting for the news of his scans. Then there was someone’s father who had been found on the floor after a stroke, he’d arrived in hospital blind and with a clot on his brain. They were talking to his daughter and it was quite sad to see her there without someone to put their arm around her, having someone with you at times like this is key. He had another stroke a couple of weeks later but at the end of the programme he was sat there talking, quite well recovered.

This reminded me how tragedy affects everyone and at anytime, we should all remember that we’re not on our own. Reach out when you need it and be there for people when they need you. Even if they think they don’t.

Take care, Paul.

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One thought on “// ‘Reach Out’ //

  1. Touched by your blogs… my mom died of MND (ALS we call it in Canada, I live in the UK currently) when I was 21, she lived only 3 years with it but diagnosis, care and support was not as good then (1988). It still affects me, the loss and grief of that time. You are strong and I’m glad the fundraising is such a positive thing for you. With best wishes, Barbara Allen

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