// ‘Sharing’ //

I’m writing this blog in the middle of the night due to not sleeping properly.

Knowing that I am going to die due to this disease and not going to be able to talk properly for the rest of my life I want to share the thoughts in my head that I’ve learnt in my life. I was born on the day that Maggie Thatcher entered 10 Downing Street at the end of the 70’s. Not everybody will want to know what I have in my mind but some of you enjoy what I share and will learn something.

I’m lying here in bed at exactly 02:53. Ted is downstairs in the kitchen and due to him being so young and missing his brothers he has been moaning and crying since we went to bed. Unfortunately there is nothing we can do to stop him doing this as he just needs to learn that it’s bed time and we are here for him. He is a little young border terrier in our family, a wonderful recruit.

Since he was born eight weeks ago he has been with his brothers, l know he has been separated from them, he is now on his own. The only difference is that he is Master Ted Crowdey, a new Mum and Dad, and instead of brothers he now has two sisters. 

Back to this again, roughly 10 days later as I’ve been up since about 3am. I think I have a urine infection or something wrong with my bladder. I’m off to see my important Doctor in a few hours and hopefully we can get on top of this. The burning sensation has kept me awake since I went to the toilet, it wasn’t that strong but I think I’m just sensitive.

This has been with me for about a week and in the last few nights I’ve been waking up at about 3-4 needing to go to the toilet. This is a really bad thing for me to have, my sleep is just so important. I usually only wake up if I lay on my arms or if my left leg cramps up. Getting on top of this by the end of the week and hopefully I’ll be sleeping through the full night again.

Since I was diagnosed with this disease I have had a few more illnesses that I’ve never had before. I think this is due to the medication and my body getting older quicker due to me having a terminal degenerative disease. Even though I’m only 36 perhaps my body is now aged in the early 40’s.

Sorry this blog is a bit of a mess but I managed to write it when I was awake in the middle of the night. Back to my original thoughts, I’ll share everything I think about that’s important and now that I cant talk properly this will help my family and friends.

I’m now on the antibiotics and hopefully I’ll be better in the next few days.

Take care friends. Paul.



6 thoughts on “// ‘Sharing’ //

  1. Hi Paul. Love reading your blogs. It reminds me so much of what my brother went through. Hope you’re feeling a bit better soon. X


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